Bouncing Off the Walls – A YES from ACE
We did it, we did it! I cannot describe just how ecstatic Jen and I were when reading the ACE outcome letter – elevated even more when we phoned Squeeze Box artists to let them know this fantastic news. The sense of relief was quickly washed over by utter excitement. The simple fact that we can dream again rather than wade through engagement numbers, quality assurance, buzz words in character culls, etc, is one of the best feelings in the world. Maybe to help paint the image of why my smile did not leave my face all evening, let me take you through the agonising moments of receiving the email saying a decision was made, to me having to log on to Grantium to get the actual outcome. We were going to break for tea and I just happened to look back at my desktop to see the email pop up and we both.... froze.... looked at each other. back to the screen... Jen’s excitement, my panic, our trepidation, my disappointment, Jen’s exhilaration, our terror.... back to the screen. All thoughts of hunger had truly left us! In the intervening time from finding out there was outcome to finding out what the result was, I was muttering: “at least we will know that we haven’t got the funding”, “we can start planning another application in earnest now”, “I will feel happier knowing for sure that we didn’t get the funding rather than hoping – it’s hope that kills you” … that is how utterly convinced I was that we weren’t going to be awarded the grant! We had to open it there and then and screams and squeals of delight followed by happy tears, hugs, thanks and some very high-pitched phone calls……………
All in a Week
All In about seven days, and I believe in this order, I am predicting:
• A Labour landslide and the official end to austerity
• A ‘Yes’ from ACE to support the next development of Squeeze Box
• Harry Kane, Bukayo Saka, Jordan Pickford and co will lift the European Cup!
I started to play a game or some kind of karma request to the gods of election outcome, if I had to have two of these come true which two would it be!
A To-Do-List……. of Sorts
I am quickly discovering that I’m not very good at to-do lists – I say quickly, it’s probably more like glacier rock speed! I have had five or so years of ‘professional’ work life and three years of degree to discover this…and for the great homo sapiens male brain that is sitting in my skull, admitting that I’m not very good at something doesn’t come at great pace. Furthermore, I was even allocated a mentor/professional sorter when I was studying, at great expense of the Further Education establishments. However, with the most exciting adventures coming up and inspiring activities being set, I’m finding it increasingly difficult to remember what I’m supposed to be doing, what order I need to do something in, or indeed, why I need to do the thing in the first place.
A Thank-you Letter/A Love Letter – Addressed to Many
Dear Squeezy Team (for that is what we are called now courtesy of Care Centred brilliant Shelley – the work producer)The most amazing week has flown by, in fact, the most joyful and perfect project has zoomed past…. From the excitement we all shared through the build-up, to the magical making process and each emotional performance. Coming together the care we have for each other allowed our creativity to flow so beautifully. Over many reflection sessions, I question how we can figure out just how the Squeeze Box journey has been so joyful, full of laughter and happiness, and yet super productive – the epitome of process! One of many fond memories I have is walking into MakeTank on performance day and being astounded as to how this team has transformed an empty space into colour, depth, engagement, excitement, quality and so much more, in just a couple of days… then thanking my lucky stars I have another whole day in the company of you all.
Another Plug from Me
I suppose if this is the least enjoyable element of the Squeeze Box creative process, then I am very very lucky to be part of this bold, colourful, caring collaborative project! The awkwardness of sending people what is essentially an advert, the stressfulness of making sure I’m sending all the comms to the right people, anxious waiting for a response, to joyful moments of hearing from people I haven’t heard from in ages… Well, in that case, I think this element of platforming speaks to Squeeze Box in multiple ways. And that’s the thing about making work about the disabled experience – the understanding of this identity is a mirror and a lens into wider society, performance in the everyday and cultural embodiment.
We Workshopped
As part of the epic adventure which is Squeeze Box 23, I have been so fortunate to work with an amazing applied creative team to deliver conversation-based workshops in Manchester. After seeing on social media that Dr Tony Gee's (with co-author Warren Linds) Workshop: The Art of Creative Inquiry has been released, their book on the magic of workshops, it feels apt to share with you my reflections and learning from time spent in an extraordinary creative space with brilliant creators. These workshops were designed to be a devising/research mechanism to share practise and to learn from the disabled community – to add weight to the voice amplification in Squeeze Box and to learn from the lived experience of disabled people living in a city, feeding their experiences back to the wider communication. The weekend however totally transcended this; a reminding (if one ever needed to be reminded) that the art of workshop is a unique and powerful process in itself, not an add-on, nor a parallel process. It is rather a performance/journey/creative expression that probably can’t be matched by any individual artform or platform. Thank you so much to Longsight art space, Chi and Chris, the artistic team, and of course the participants.
In My Opinion, They Are Lying to Us
This is a reflection on performance/process and practise blog. I hope the posts are useful for fellow artists to rethink and discover, and to demystify what artist like me do, to wider readers. Or for former teachers to tut at my bad grammar and even worser jokes! It also helps me to reflect, spend time celebrating joyful members and the people along the way. To help me contextualise what I do I dip into the theory of performance and disabled politics. That in turn allows me to slip in the occasional political view, opinion and political commentary. I think I hide it well, I haven’t had any backlash yet … not that I can boast a readership that would encourage such scrutiny … however, after watching an interview by Politics Joe with Carol Vorderman (yep, spun me out a bit too, this quite random allyship), saying how the blatant corruption that is happening throughout our society is so rife, it kind of feels impossible just to stick to your area of expertise or the thing you are most passionate about. There needs to be more voices added, and reflecting on my train journey to and from Manchester, I just felt impelled to say something … however, do please feel free to skip to the sub-title below, Can We Talk About Practise now, to not give my ranty side more airtime than it deserves.