A To-Do-List……. of Sorts
I am quickly discovering that I’m not very good at to-do lists – I say quickly, it’s probably more like glacier rock speed! I have had five or so years of ‘professional’ work life and three years of degree to discover this…and for the great Homo sapiens male brain that is sitting in my skull, admitting that I’m not very good at something doesn’t come at great pace. Furthermore, I was even allocated a mentor/professional sorter when I was studying, at great expense of the Further Education establishments. However, with the most exciting adventures coming up and inspiring activities being set, I’m finding it increasingly difficult to remember what I’m supposed to be doing, what order I need to do something in, or, indeed, why I need to do the thing in the first place.
So, this blog is going to be a partial to-do-list, focusing on two get-suck-in tasks, quite writy, yes, but also very colourful and hands-on which I think matches my practice to a tee! Thanks so much, Nat with Filament, for that hour or so chat/check-ins/thought-shower sessions. They’re always very inspiring and always gives me a boost of energy; time with a practical thinker, moving slightly above the ‘doings’ and joyful but energy draining of creative output.
The Squeezy team is expanding. We are beyond a couple of local artists trying to do everything with blue tac and gaffa tape and generally making it up as we go along (this still happens in all its glory… and more so, as the stakes of failure are so much less with all this support). Through this mighty piece of work, my practise builds resilience. The core artist team is difficult to define, as everyone seems crucial. From the 4 of us ‘performing’, to Clair and Sam creatively managing the space for our audience, Shelley and Jen holding this journey together, Nat an umbrella of wider support, Tristian adding digital quality, Emily, well you can see how her masterpieces throughout this blog and website…etc
And when we do get in a room together it is magical. So, I am going to create a map of the relationship between us all. Outside Squeeze Box, each incredible artist has connections, history and links that empower the work we create together. Having knowledge of this is useful – in my mind, Squeeze Box is not a company but a journey of development for each of us on it…the most exciting thing is that I am gently shifting from the centre of the work (the thing that brings us altogether) to an artist on the wave that is Squeeze Box. Yes, the works zooms in to my lived experience but now with a brilliant producer and practical/guidance support from Farflung, if I stepped away from the ‘Day-to-day’ running of Squeeze Box, the work will still thrive – actually it would probably do better!!
Now, the second mind map, again set by the genius of Nat, is a real roll-up-your-sleeves one. Right…..title, Squeeze Box National Tour, let’s do this! Always put a title or some words down, even if it is just a sentence that you come back to later in the day – it is not a cheesy saying: “the hardest part is starting/daunting is the blank document or piece of paper”. A definite not at scale, wonky map of the UK starts to appear as I put names of interesting sounding partners. Some have funky spaces, others are interested in supporting disabled and multidisciplinary artists. I’m amazed and encouraged by how many incredible spaces there are out there, and this is only focusing on organisations, we are also fascinated to get Squeeze Box into unusual spaces like Cockington Corn Barn. As we did 3 years ago now.
I then add symbols to represent whether we have any relationship with that space already, and how far talks have gone on. After a while…wait, there is a plan there. Venue’s join up like stars in the night sky….It feels like a Squeeze Box tour is written in the stars!
When setting both of these activities, Nat suggested spending an afternoon on one and then when satisfied with that, start the next one. But reality was much different…I jumped between Mind Maps in the blink of an eye, in the blink of an idea. A kind of unique super focus (Yes, I know, one can’t quantify the word unique), where I was v productive but not in the traditional sense. By the end of the day I hadn’t finished either of them but had gotten some ‘awfully’ important emails off, updated my calendar, phoned the doctor, did my admin for the week, noted an idea for another project, become stressed at more message coming at me, and then de-stressed after talking it all through with Jen and did a couple of other stuff too, including starting this blog. I think this is especially Squeeze Box too, I couldn’t quite put a finger on what was happening in the moment but it felt really meaningful, joyful at times, lonely at others but always with a sense of being human.
And then, from the wonder that is the Squeeze Box group chat, pops a Guardian article about a thing called Popcorn Brain – as the pins, alert, distracted notifications, adverts and click-bait begin to be the lines to which modern life is written on, life feels like looking into a microwave. Just as you think you can focus on one corn popping, another 3 scream for your attention.
How do we concentrate in this world? Or maybe it’s more about redefining what it means to focus, and maybe it is a sort of protest not to be condemned to the same monogamous task that so many are still forced to do in order to stay afloat. The worker, too often seen by those in power as a dispensable clog in the greedy machine destroying our planet to make a few richer. The power of being distracted is so undervalued. We feel guilty when procrastinating, but that is surely when the best idea comes?? If we can not focus on a thing, is that our fault or the thing itself?
That said thou, is definitely important to switch off. To press ‘focus mode’ on the computer or, better still, switch off the device in the first place. Actually, the ultimate way to transcend Popcorn Brain is by making, devising, playing, rehearsing and workshopping with people, and good, caring, inspiring people definitely helps even more! From the 11th-15th March 24, the only popcorn I will be thinking about is the sweet and salty version, because I’m lucky enough to spend my days (With support from Wide Open*) with the Squeezy Team, in my hometown!
Look-in the old Liberal Club, in between Tesco’s, Lloyds and far more exciting The Nature Nook pet store – we will be like fish as the large windows curve around us, but unlike a fish tank, we will certainly be looking out right back at you😊
*Wide Open, a new creative and cultural programme in Paignton, Torbay. Part of Torbay’s Cultural Development – Paignton Picture House, a collaboration between Torbay Council, Paignton Picture House Trust, South Devon College, Torbay Culture and the Agatha Christie Festival Limited. Supported by the Cultural Development Fund, the Department for Culture, Media and Sport (DCMS) fund administered by Arts Council England.