A Thank-you Letter/A Love Letter – Addressed to Many

Dear Squeezy Team (for that is what we are called now courtesy of Care Centred brilliant Shelley – the work producer)

The most amazing week has flown by, in fact, the most joyful and perfect project has zoomed past…. From the excitement we all shared through the build-up, to the magical making process and each emotional performance. Coming together, the care we have for each other allowed our creativity to flow so beautifully. Over many reflection sessions, I question how we can figure out just how the Squeeze Box journey has been so joyful, full of laughter and happiness, and yet super productive – the epitome of process! One of many fond memories I have is walking into MakeTank on performance day and being astounded as to how this team has transformed an empty space into colour, depth, engagement, excitement, quality and so much more, in just a couple of days… then thanking my lucky stars I have another whole day in the company of you all.

So, after a gentle and caring check-in, our customary way of organically beginning creative sessions together, let’s try and dive into what made MakeTank everything and more. The space and the people, gently managed by Olya and Yudi, were perfect for Squeeze Box, in fact a welcoming space for all which naturally lent itself to the creative world. We loved being able to come into an almost empty canvas, but with its own charms and character speaking to any creative entering the space. The fact that there was a hint of museum/charity shop feel with many deposits of rare items, furniture and much more, really sparked our imagination and helped us shape the piece into a perfect combo of MakeTank and Squeeze Box. Also, the slow and steady wandering in and out of fellow artists, to their studios above added to the sense of community and also led to engaging some new audience members for Squeeze Box.

It is devastating that the rich creative space is now empty on Paris Street – dark cold and lonely – its life now destined for moth balls and slowly gathering dust waiting (with patience or maybe nervousness) for the powers that be to finally agree on the decision fate made many moons ago and demolish the building altogether….sadness doesn’t come close…MakeTank was the nearest space geographically to Paignton that was truly inclusive, welcoming to all, a safe space for all artists and the local community to create around political debate, commonality and open dialogue with thinkers alike. I kept dreaming of the time I will be able to return to this safe place to make and embody new ideas – now I know they are just dreams as I watch the soul of MakeTank and much of Exeter’s community be ripped to the ground.

 Yet, this sorry state of affairs somehow enriches the memories of Squeeze Box. As, in a moment in time, I was able to play and be myself with the most incredible creative team, informing a live piece of work, which is truly intangible and unrepeatable. And like the great legends of Scottish hospitality, where they would create a new castle out of straw, wild flowers and grass, host a great banquet and set fire to the lot after the feast, so the same for MakeTank, it would seem…..although of course, MakeTank has a rich history of supporting people who need it the most and the loss of the building (and this sacred space) is devastating for Exeter community!

Hope, however, lives on the community spirit and in particular the extraordinary strength of Olya and her team mean MakeTank cannot be held down for long. Olya and Yudi and so many others are still embodying MakeTank’s essence. In need of a new space now, a more fitting space, accessible, adaptable and in keeping with the essence of MakeTank. This is exciting and will be more for the community and led by the community than ever before. The team’s energy is infectious and will build until it comes to fruition. MakeTank will continue to nurture and support those who need it the most – from rough sleepers to activists, refugees to radical thinkers, using the power of art, music and creativity, people will come together and challenge hierarchical structures and systems which aim to drive us apart.

Maybe it is the idea of using disability as a lens for the human condition and how society works or falls apart. So many systems and positions of power are not set up for unique bodies and are exposed by disabled communities – these structures often only work for the very few and the rest of society must fill in the crumbling gaps. In order to thrive/write our own narratives, we need understanding, care and community to be put first, above politics, profit and entitlement. Squeeze Box does this, and then in a dramatic shift, exposes when care is lacking highlighting the dire consequences. However, at the forefront of the work is how we support each other.  We try our best to embody care throughout the process! From gentle check-ins to flexi times, taking breaks when needed and making sure access is in place throughout the day, for all. Because individually we feel cared for, when a barrier arises, we all do our best to support that person to overcome it or to dispose of the barrier in a thoughtful, often funny and nearly always dramatic way. There is such a warmness to working with a group of people like you guys – inspiring, exciting, fun and powerful and transformative!

Or maybe it’s the sheer play of our process. The core artists have their mediums – performance, projection, sound/voice amplification. Together there is an infinite feedback loop where each informs the other. We also swap roles organically, sometimes singing together and then deep in thought about what’s next for the projection. This is all shared with an amazing outside-eye team – Clair, Shelley, Jen and Sam are so in-tune with the work and the artists – from making sure the narrative is held throughout the story telling to creating a beautiful flow whilst also looking out for signs of fatigue, lack of confidence and knowing who needs what to get the best out of them, what the space needs to make it feel right and to ensure both the space and the piece speak honestly, unapologetically yet with the human touch to diverse audiences.

Just when I thought MakeTank was the brilliant climax of 2023, I blink and most of the team are sitting in a circle at the one and only Battersea Art Centre. Wow, what a year. It’s flown by, but for some moments within our rehearsal and performance, time does stop or at least slow down. When we in the creative groove, my world shifts a little, giving me a feeling of empowerment, to the extreme that nothing is impossible and everything is accessible.

I can not thank you all enough!!

From a slightly rushed application 3ish years ago, where the title Squeeze Box came into existence, to now, where we have a powerful, meaningful piece of work, allowing artists to be artists, with so much scope for adaptation to fit many spaces and so many more audiences, all while connecting with people on an intimate level, is beyond magical.

Which reminds me, I do need to write a letter to Battersea Arts Centre

Dear Ash and fellow Battersea Art Centre producers

What an offer you gave me and I am pretty confident we did our best to make the most out of it. Your support, faith in the quality of our collaboration, ‘Yes’ stance and willingness to take a risk on new work is priceless. Receiving your first email saying you have scouted out one of our films and are keen to have a conversation, was quite amazing enough, then to be given the chance to take over one of your spaces was mind-blowing.

 I’m pretty sure that without your connection with Doorsteps Arts through CTN, I would not have ever imagined myself as an artist and theatre maker. You were part of the original switch in my brain, you were always part of my inspiration, and I hope that goes a way to telling you how much this meant to me. The raw, political, inspiring, emotional ‘call to arms’ work you supported to tour in Torbay, over many years, propelled my imagination and offered my generation an insight into theatre that matters. Therefore, to be able to take Squeeze Box from Torbay to BAC, feels like a circle being complete and I’m sure this will, in time transform into a lasting collaboration!

We could have spent a week just wandering around the all inspiring building, enriching our creative essence with a very creative and politically engaged history. With links to the Suffragettes, the first UK social housing reform, the first London black councillor, socialist uprisings and much more, the whole building is a voting machine – with the ayes to the left, and noes to the right

It was incredible just how much we managed to fit in. And we were able to pause for half a day with totally inspiring Rubiane Maia and Ria Righteous, who are world leaders in care, radical care and care in practise. They unpacked some of the new thinking, uncharted territory in this vital subject. They both totally embodied the idea of putting self and community first - rejecting unhealthy and unhelpful uncaring models of working, dismantling the capitalist ever-increasing demand on our mind, body and time. International artists and creative director of LADA respectably, Rubiane and Ria demonstrates that putting in care does not hold you back one bit, on the coitionary!!

We even managed to bump into the power-house of the Fig in Wigs! To think I was making work in the same building they were, was another inspiration. This feeling of shared power in knowing, just through that other door, theatre is being made too, is seldom experienced in Torbay. Although, we did once have the serial experience of making political work under the stage presenting a pantomime!

Yet, time will still tick along and the week did unfortunately come to an end with an emotional and a very Squeeze Box platform event, where, with full support from producers at BAC, we fully welcomed critical friends, in every sense of the word, to witness and join us on our Squeeze Box Journey. The insight and feedback we received from this was invaluable and we all had a huge amount of fun too!

Then with remarkable speed, joy and reflection, we left the BAC space as we found it, raring to take our learnings to the next chapter….

PS Need to write an open letter to everyone who came to experience and support Squeeze Box. The energy and buzz in the room at MakeTank was beyond electric – this is what community should feel like. This was especially true when CEDA were in the space. They came and conquered Squeeze Box and left such positive feedback, which from them meant the world and gave much reassurance that Squeeze Box talks from many perspectives and viewpoints and is far more than just biographical.

PPS, I am now gonna write a letter to Another Route, oh yeah and I need to do a separate Thank you to the amazing Quarantine and Sarah the producer there…not to mention all the incredibly inspiring performance artists, my co-fellowshipers.

No, actually a simple letter could not come close to show the gratitude and respect I have for these guys. And truthfully, that goes for the text above – I just thought it was a funky and slightly different holding frame for a reflective blog. The headlines of ‘Hugh going to Belgium’ and ‘Hugh performs at BAC’ are brilliant punctuation points but do not go anywhere near telling the whole story or indeed begin to encapsulate the true essence of this journey. For if Another Route and everything it encompasses had been just one strand of the whole – zooms with Quarantine, mentoring from Nat, making sessions with Squeeze Box team etc, it would still have been one hell of a year, but to have the additional strands, experiences and networking that came with it was just life changing…