My Jerwood Journey (And Hopefully tbc!)
I guess it is a story told hundreds of times by now but when I applied for this bursary in early 2020, I could not imagine how the rest of the year would have planned out - although with all the amazing support from Jerwood, this is not the tail of isolation it could have easily been!
(Source, Google Maps)
[Image Description: A 2D Map of London with main roads in yellow and green dotted around with main areas and attractions labelled, ie Paddington, The British Library, Hammersmith, London City Airport, etc. There are 5 Love Hearts dotted around mainly centre north south of the river].
One of the last ‘worky’ things I completed before the winter break was a Jerwood evaluation form. This, I think, encapsulates my whole experience with this bursary: an open, no-pressure, welcoming, space to experiment, totally supportive and enthusiastic about my practice approach to commissioning. During this evaluation process, it was extremely difficult to: a) keep within the 200-word limit for the question ‘What did you achieve…’ b) pinpoint exact moments of where the bursary was used. I enjoyed reflecting and completing the questions offered by Jerwood and went on a joyful journey through memory – the evaluation was definitely not a tick box exercise for me and hopefully useful
My journey’s climax with a social/networking event in London (which still feels to me like a culture capital, even though I have been fortunate enough to experience many amazing works locally) with the totally inspirational Kelsie Acton (Battersea Arts Centre), Barak adé Soleil and Chinasa Vivian Ezugha (Live Art Development Agency) and Sarah Gibbon (Jerwood). With nervous knees, I had the opportunity to present Squeeze Box, my collaboration and practice with these giants of live arts and theatre. With Jen’s support, I think I delivered the fabric and process of Squeeze Box quite well – in the heat of the moment I think I waffle quite a lot, but there where smiles all around the table so I must have done something right! After this whistle-stop tour of Squeeze Box, we engaged in much-needed conversation around accessibility and the creative sector. As a sign that the conversation went well, there were some tense moments when really interrogating the lack of basic accessibility and lack of representation for disabled artists and the discrimination felt by oppressed groups. Yet, it was clear that these individuals and organisations were pushing for change and at this in turn has reminded me to keep on demanding too!
(Source, Jerwood’s Facebook page)
[Image Description: Against a white wall, a wooden lectern covered in wire with the words ‘GOOD TO US’, a speaker on stand and a tv screen on wheels displaying a blue background with white text ‘The Jerwood Journey’; there is additional text falling off the edge of the screen].
With that fruitful event gently causing ripples for my thinking process and hopefully in the wider world, I think the true quality of Jerwood support is not quite as easily marked by the calendar or a map as ‘this is a moment of change or achievement’ – it felt unlike a ‘typical’ theatre devising process: a build-up of momentum and content to a finale that is first night. No, it was not like that at all and this has empowered me to think beyond a process that is geared up to produce/make/have an end product. There were of course highlighted events supported by the bursary: funds to launch my Square Space website, a space to reflect and celebrate; zooms with inspiring artist and activist Dr Brian Lobel; chains of networks which led to the eventual connection with Ash from The Uncultured, leading to a successful ace grant-Squeeze Box; conversations with fellow Jerwood bursary recipient (Rose Sargent), building resilience and confidence in each other etc etc.
All of these I guess have a chronological order but I don’t think it is useful to think in that timeline mode because of the overlap and connections. An interesting bit of conversation here and a sudden thought there, all building towards a more resilient artist: me… From writing an application to Jerwood with the only real expectation that this would count as a bit of writing practice, to having the license to dream about developing my practice, network and how I wanted to develop as an artist… and then having the confidence to invite these giants to an event hosted by myself is an extraordinary transformation!
Along this fluent journey, the ability to fund time with Nat as project manager and to take ideas, dreams, ambitions and visions for ‘a walk’ has been invaluable. I remember quite vividly a Zoom discussion how I felt uncomfortable journeying to London and visiting different venues/studios during another wave of the pandemic. We therefore completely ripped up the concept and placed the pieces back together. As more of a musing than anything else, Nat suggested whether there was a way we could have conversations about my practice and accessibility in the arts without having to journey around the city. Of course there was, but the idea of boldly inviting LADA, BAC and Jerwood to a networking session rather than timidly asking whether I could maybe, perhaps, tour your organisations but only if it would be no trouble, is a tribute to support from Jerwood and beyond!
It will be a sore miss not having the Jerwood bursary in the background to keep my creative and ambitious side of my mind active. It was a lot harder to slink into a comfort zone of less risk taking but ultimately less productive space when I was able to see the Jerwood in my current project folder. I aim to take this more hopeful, humble but in a productive way, confidence and exciting way of working forward and this will be made all the more easier with Sarah and Jerwood’s genuine interest in my work to come!