Tomorrow Belongs To Me

As always, I have left writing a new blog far too long and have loads to report, share and celebrate! Devising and creating for our Turner Contemporary commission is going full pelt and it is wonderful to be channelling my energy into a creative process. Next, we have submitted our second ACE project grant which is amazing too. There’s a bit more info on how that process has gone in my last blog but needless to say a massive thank you to everyone who supported the submission and especially to The Uncultured, Ash Bowmott and Nat for patiently working through my chaotic ideas, anxieties and general and need to dot every single i - my obsessions with every last punctuation mark and budget line was getting on my own nerves let alone yours! But it is in, fingers crossed all around…. another bursary from Jerwood did not quite come through for us but it was a fantastic opportunity and over 1000 artists submitted so being in the top 17% is actually something to celebrate.

So that was the general theatre makery standard update blog bit. Now as the title of this blog may allude to, the subject matter might leave sour tastes in amongst the glitz and glamour of my slightly cheesy word play. I want to take you on a journey through our devising for StillSuspended. StillSuspended is beginning to become very risky, experimental and liberating. The subject matter and indeed the concepts has shifted 10-fold from the original proposal. Turner Contemporary have been awesome, taking a genuine interest in our creativity, process and supporting where needed but generally promoting the responsive nature of the work so far!

The work so far centres around this idea of surrealness and suspension, which is to say our contemporary lockdown distanced collaboration take.

During the initial devising sessions and the general repeatingness of the word surreal landed us in the realm of Dada. Referencing David Lynch’s Eraserhead (yes, it is a massive jump and my head is all over the place when it comes to the references for our devising sessions, I encourage you to research the Dada movement and just to take this blog as a condensed stepping-stone of imagination) we fell head over heels in the bizarre. From Salvador Dalí to Cubism, Cabaret and surrealism all with their subtext and influences have all entered our consciousnesses.

It feels like all the risk taking that has been bottled up this year is now pouring out, drowning this creative project and if I pause for too long, I may want to retreat which would be problematic and a shame. StillSuspended offers an idea of an idea of a space where it’s okay to be who you are. Moreover, it is okay to think differently - to consider that what is going on is pretty damn rubbish! How we approach this space as artists/individuals/commissioners demands a Dada-esque ‘other’ thinking - to individualise and embrace othering holds this original work and that is risky. It’s risky to speak out, it’s risky to enter a space with others that speak out, and it’s risky to create a space where a moments pause to articulate that things are unsteady/unsustainable/unfair/surreal. And this all tumbles and unravels because the moment of pause that we’re creating has to be full of noise.

So, that is my head-space at the moment - the only way to describe the process is to dip into nonsensical writing and emerge non-the-wiser. The platform of StillSuspended sits in a world full of nonsensical nonsense - a deadly pandemic being muffled by a white supremacist leader abusing and manipulating, utter shambles education system still reeling from a brutally unfair algorithm, some breaking the rules and many not understanding them in the first place, the list goes on. My practice has turned from exploring/unpicking contemporary issues to outspoken political activism - it’s impossible not to get fired up by what’s going on, feeling hopeless and helpless. But yet when I look back at my previous collaboration with pride, they all have an underpinning in injustices at the heart, and they’re full of humour, hope, connectedness and celebrations of diversity. In a world full of noise, anger and strife, subtlety and gentle probing can work too - it’s sometimes important to find a balance.

StillSupspended feels very reactive and alive - almost to the extent where life is reflecting art. Pre-Christmas during a devising session, Steve was relating an idea to the infamous 1938 Kristallnacht/Night of Broken Glass in Germany. A weekend where Nazi-fuelled propaganda and hatred saw buildings and windows vandalised in an anti-Jewish movement. Last week we saw the American Capitol Building being ransacked - encouraged by extreme right wing sentiments. Often this pandemic has been compared to the second world war… and then this happened. This widely publicised event is a one example to the current political and social boiling point, internationally, nationally, regionally and locally. I don’t think we’re saying that Steve was a fortune-teller or this was somehow inevitable for this kind of violence to happen right before our eyes, but it was uncanny when during a devising session, Steve pulled the Night of Broken Glass out of the myriad examples that helped us contextualise our work.

So, with these massive societal shifting examples at the heart of the artwork, I hope StillSuspended will echo warnings from past and present extreme political discourse. Within Cabaret, ‘Tomorrow Belongs To Me’ is an iconic shift of momentum within theatre/film, playing out the moment when a spawn of an idea (with you are different, other, lesser than me at the core), leads to devastating consequences. I think this is at the heart of my practice, turning the word ‘other’ into a celebration of diversity. Using an artistic toolkit to strike in the guts of ableism, racism, sexism, everything that drives up apart. The continual ability to honour anger and frustration and develop ways to reconnect.

Thanks to lockdown 3.0, StillSuspended development has taken a little longer than anticipated and hasn’t yet been allocated a date and time when it will emerge into the world. Our development has been hampered but have led to some glorious moments of improv and creativity - Steve and partner Becky dismantling their bedroom to construct a green screen studio of their own, Jen trying to slip my feet into all manner of different footwear. As soon as we have a launch date we will let you know and hopefully you can join us to celebrate this diverse, surreal, DIY, honest platform.

StillSuspended, coming very, very soon.